Homer Simpson Teaches Bart and Lisa About "The Birds And The Bees"

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Story intro: Everyone Loves Homer. Here's an uncut, unseen episode we'd all like to see. Homer, in his typical bumbling style, teaches Bart and Lisa the finer points of sex.

It was a quiet Sunday evening in the Simpson household when Marge Simpson just happened to walk by Bart's room.

"What are you doing Bart? Stop that this instant!" Marge ordered as she walked briskly into her son's room.

"But mom, it feels s-o-o-o good when I do this. Dad does it all the time. Me and Lisa caught him in the bathroom one time"

"If you continue to play with yourself all the time Bart, your penis will fall off one day."

"Oh yeah? HOW COME DAD'S HASN'T?" Bart countered.

"Maybe it's time for your dad to tell you kids about a few things" Marge answered impatiently.

Continuing her walk down the hall, she noticed Lisa's door closed.

"Lisa …Oh Lisa! Are you in there honey? OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Suddenly the door opened.

"It's only seven o'clock. Are you in bed already? Marge asked her daughter in a concerned tone."

"Hi mom. Yeah I'm a little tired. You know big day and all." Lisa replied as she yawned, pretending to be sleepy.

"Are you OK? You look red in the face and you're all sweaty," her mother asked suspiciously.

Not waiting for an answer, Marge trotted back down the stairs to find Homer.

"Homey?"

"Yes Marge"

"Our kids need your help and guidance. I just caught Bart playing with himself and I think Lisa was doing the same thing in her bedroom with the door locked."

"Oh Marge. Kids will be kids. Besides what can it hurt?"

"Homey. I think it's time for them to know about…you know...sex."

"SEX! DOH!!! Oh Marge. Why can't you teach em'? I always have to do the hard stuff around here."

"Because YOU'RE their father, and you're supposed to be experienced in these things."

"OH OK. I'll go up there I guess and get this over with. I know! We'll do some play-acting. Yeah!" Homer comments as he reaches for the lump in his pants.

Homer, in his excitement, runs up the stairs to Bart's room.

"OK, Bart. It's time for you and Lisa to learn all about the Birds and the Bees. Now go get your sister and bring her here."

Bart is surprised by his dad's sudden interest in the Birds and the Bees. "What brought this on?" he wonders. Obeying his father, he brings Lisa to his room.

"Alright kids, I'm your father and it's my job to teach you about…about. Oh damn! About the birds and the bees, you know…about sex.

"Sex? I already know all about sex." Lisa announces.

"You only think you know. After tonight, you'll be a walking sex encyclopedia-or is that pedophilia? I always get those two words mixed up"

"Now! Lisa, take your clothes off, and Bart you do the same."

Dutifully, the kids undress.

"Ok kids. Wow! Lisa you've got a GREAT little body. You've been holding out on your dear old dad, haven't you? Come to daddy, sweetie." Homer exclaimed as he massaged the swollen, throbbing cock making a huge rise in his pants.

Little Lisa walked hesitantly to her father, a bit embarrassed in her nakedness. Homer inspected his young daughter's fine looking body and begins fondling her soft young butt, feeling between her thighs then running his finger over her hairless pussy.

"Ummm that's nice," homer muttered to himself as his cock ached with arousal.

"Hey dad, you have a "boner"!" Bart announced out loud to everyone in the room.

"Thanks for noticin' son." Homer replied.

"Now pay attention son! This is your first lesson in sex." Homer commanded as he scooped Lisa up and placed her on Bart's bed.

"OK sweetie, open your legs for daddy. Come on, baby. I SAID SPREAD THOSE LEGS FOR YOUR DADDY"

"As you can see, son, sometimes you have to get a little tough with 'em" Homer explained as he reached between Lisa's little legs and forced them apart.

"DADDY, I DON'T LIKE THIS!" Lisa complained.

"You're not supposed to like this. It's what guys like to do, and ladies always have to go along with guys!" Homer answered with a smirk on his face. Suddenly he leaned down between his daughter's luscious little thighs and started licking her naked, preteen cunt, from her anus to her tiny clitoris.

"Mmm! That feels so good, daddy" Lisa moaned as her legs writhed with arousal.

Soon, little Lisa was bucking and pushing her hips into Homer's face as she experienced her first non-self-induced orgasm. Her little cunt deposited pussy juice all over her daddy's face. Soon, Homer got up from his daughter's steamy, wet body and began to unzip his pants.

"Are you gonna fuck her now dad?" Bart asked excitedly.

"Yup. Then you're gonna do everything I just did, and practice makes perfect so we'll have to do this every night 'til you learn your lesson," Homer replied.

"Every Night? Lisa asked.

"Oh it won't be so bad, honey. After all, it'll only be me and your brother, unless some of the guys at Moe's Bar wanna' learn about sex too."

"Oh NOOO! Please daddy, not every night." Lisa cried.

"Well maybe every other night. OK Baby?"

"OOOH DADDY! I don't wanna' do this anymore." Lisa whined.

"Sorry my sweetness, nobody here cares what you want. "It's a man's world and women are only a life support system for the pussy." Homer leaned over and whispered to Bart, "I read that on a wall in the men's room at Moe's."

Homer's huge, meaty cock was aimed like a weapon at little Lisa's slit. Her tight little hole looked inviting, as the heat from her sex seemed to tug at him, pulling his sex to her small, helpless body as she lay in wait for her fate.

"Now watch closely Bart as I slowly, then aggressively punch a hole in your sister." Homer instructs while his cock enters Lisa's squirming body.

"Ouch! That hurts, daddy." Lisa cries as her daddy plunges through her sensitive hymen.

"Now baby, that didn't hurt too bad, did it?" Homer says to his daughter.

Homer starts to push in and out slowly then faster and deeper until Lisa cries out.

"OH God! MORE-MORE, Please Daddy" Lisa pleads to her father as Homer rams his cock all the way into his daughter's tight little fuckhole.

Homer's own orgasm was overdue. His hot sperm explodes into his young daughter's cunt like a flood from a "dam break", filling her vaginal tunnel with buckets of sperm and leaking like a river all over her butt and Bart's bed.

"Bart's little cock swells after watching his dad fuck his sister and get his rocks off. Then he hollers "Next."

"Just wait a minute, son." Homer says while his butt cheeks ripple as he squeezes the last drop of semen into Lisa's ravaged pussy.

"OK turn over, my lovely," Homer commands.

"What are you gonna do now, daddy?" Lisa asks in a whiny tone, as she tries to mentally recover from the good fucking her daddy just gave her.

"Never you mind. All you have to do is lay on your tummy and your daddy will do the rest." Homer answered impatiently.

"Now Bart. This is really what your sister's butt is best at. It's more than a poop chute you know. And it's a better place than a pussy to stick your penis in. Think of your sister's ass as a receptacle for cum. By the way, cum is what comes out of your "weenie" when you jack off or fuck. But fucking is much better than jacking off. Fucking a tight butt like your sister Lisa's is better then fucking her pussy."

Lisa turns on her tummy, holding her legs tightly together.

"Lisa! How can your daddy fuck you in the ass unless you spread those cute legs of yours?"

"But daddy! I don't want you to put your thing in my butt. It's too big and it'll hurt," she complains.

"Now baby. It'll be OK and it's for your own good too. You must learn to do these things so you can get ahead in life. Ummm, speaking of head, that's our next subject, kids." Homer comments as he fingers his chin in concentration.

Lisa hesitantly opens her legs so her daddy can mount her.

"OK son. Go get the KY jelly from my room. It's right next to the bed on the nightstand." Homer instructs as he wets his finger and inserts it into his daughter's tight little anus.

"Nooo! Please not there! Daddy it hurts already" Lisa cried.

"Lisa Baby. That's only my finger."

"It feels like the oak tree on the front lawn being shoved up my ass," she whines.

"Lisa! You know there is NO cursing allowed in this house. What would your mother say if she heard you say that word?"

Bart returns, not with the KY Jelly, but a tube of Preparation H. He hands the tube to his dad.

"Thanks son. This stuff is used to lubricate the butt so your "weenie" goes in easier," Homer comments.

Homer, not looking at the label on the tube, squirts some into little Lisa's anus, pushing the goo into her rectum with his finger.

"Hey daddy! That didn't hurt a bit," Lisa announced with a look of relief.

"See honey, I told you it would be Ok!" Homer replied as he guided his fat cock to the "rosebud" at the entrance to his daughter's anus. Pushing gradually, Homer Simpson's cock slid into his little child's butt-hole with a "POP."

"Oooo! This feels intense" Homer coos as he plunges, impaling Lisa's body to the hilt with his thick shaft. The warmth of her rectum bathes his dick with pleasure until suddenly, he can't feel a thing.

Hey! There's something strange here. Something's wrong. I can't feel anything in my cock, he whines as he pumps in and out of his little daughter's rectum. Now frustrated, he pushes deeper until his huge belly prevents any further penetration.

Realizing that something is amiss, Homer pulls all the way out of his daughter's body. He touches his penis with his hand and detects NO FEELING!

"OH NOOO! My dick is dead!" he cries. "I'm being punished for having sex with my daughter. Please God! I'll repent. I'll never do it again. P-l-e-a-s-e fix my penis. I promise I'll never…"

The effects of the Preparation H were wearing off, inspiring a smile as Homer's cock was getting back to normal. He could feel again.

"Ooooh Goody! My dick's working again. I can feel it. Thank you God! OH Thank you!"

"OK Lisa. Turn over on your back. One more fuck from your daddy and its brother's turn." Homer commands.